Can’t Thank You Enough

thank_you

Every day is a new day and I have the opportunity to start over and/or get better at what I do. Even as early as it is, today has been frustrating and I’ve been tempted more than once to throw shit across the room. I don’t LIKE feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing … especially since – theoretically – I’m supposed to KNOW what I’m doing.

Take this blog post for instance; even though you can’t see what’s wrong, I KNOW it’s wrong and it’s making me crazy. But I’ve already wasted too much time trying to fix it and in the long run it doesn’t matter.

I uploaded a gallery for a client and screwed that up. Apparently scheduled THREE THINGS with THREE DIFFERENT people this morning, despite having every one of them on the calendar and visible to me.

I am frustrated out of my mind … I have ALWAYS been able to juggle and make everything work. My memory has ALWAYS been something I was very proud of. I have ALWAYS bragged about performing best under pressure.

I have to get used to the fact that I am NOT the person I used to be and adjust to that. It’s harder than I thought it would be and I thank you for your patience.

Starting Over … Again

Wisconsin Boudoir Photography

Wisconsin Boudoir PhotographySix months ago I had a stroke. If I wasn’t lazy I’d get up and find the medical term for the kind of stroke I had, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is how my life “is” now.

So how is it?

In a word … SCARY.

I sat down here A MONTH AGO to start setting things up to reopen the studio …

Besides the stroke, in the past six months I have managed to give myself a black eye, fall down the basement steps, start the porch on fire and totally nuke my original website and its email.To say it’s been interesting is putting it mildly.

But here’s the deal: I love what I do more than I’m afraid of what I can’t do.

The books are OPEN and we’re taking appointments for June 2021. Read all about how it works and let’s roll, dolls.

Photo sessions are easy to set up. Want to set up your own empowering session? Just email me and we’ll get the ball rolling

Selfies Are HARD, Y’all


Boudoir selfie or professional photographer? Gah … I can shoot my clients, but taking my own photos, even with a professional camera and the knowledge I have is really fucking HARD. After yesterday I think I’m gonna do some searching and find a local photographer to do mine.

My job – my passion – is taking photos that allow women to look at themselves and love what they see, whether they’re taking the photos for someone they love or for themselves. Taking selfies is an exercise in PAIN… I am not kidding, my back is killing me from trying pose and hit the shutter at the same time. I warn my clients all the time that they’re gonna be sore and it’s true!

I’ll tell you what HAS happened since I started taking my own photos: I am accepting myself and my body. People, I am nearly 60 YEARS OLD!!!! That fact slaps me in the face on a regular basis and you know what? SO WHAT?

I’m becoming more confident in this mom-bod and my lived in face. Sometimes I see my own mom in my face. Sometimes I see my face in my daughter. This is me and if I don’t get good with what I have now, at the age of 57, when will I?

I’ve lost some weight recently, not on purpose, but I still have the wrinkles and the cellulite and that damn belly roll in the front and I’m okay with it. I really think a lot of it has to do with boudoir photography. I see my clients come in and toss off their clothes, trust me to make them look good and I KNOW I’m good too!

So yesterday I curled my hair with a flat iron because it was too freaking cold to go out to the studio more than once, watched a make-up video on YouTube, threw all my gear into a bag and went out to the studio.

Boudoir sessions are easy to set up. Want to set up your own session? Just email me or Facebook PM and we’ll get the ball rolling

Random Evening Thoughts

Whenever I’m having a crisis of belief in myself (and trust me, that happens a lot), I go back and read through Sue Bryce​’s blog.

I discovered Sue about 3-4 years ago, right about the time everybody else did. She burst into the glam/boudoir photography world with a BANG, a goddamn black-eyed phenomenon from “Down Under” with the cutest accent, who became an over night success in the United States.

Sue Bryce - My Hero

Of course she’d been working her ass off for twenty years in Australia … so much for overnight successes.

But if I ever had a hero, and idol, she’s it and she’s what keeps me going when I want to quit. I got back and start going through some of her earliest blog entries, before she moved to the states and I find myself being inspired again.

While I love her style, I know I’ll never produce the kind of work she does – and truthfully I don’t want to. I don’t want to “Brycify” my work. That’s HER, it’s not ME. But her drive, her gumption, her force of will – that’s what keeps me going.

Things are tough right now, I’m not gonna lie; anyone who knows me knows I don’t sugar-coat a lot. I make a lot of jokes, but the truth is always there just under the surface.

I’m going into my fourth year of business and I’m finally seeing a change – in myself, in my work, in how potential clients see me. It’s encouraging, but of course, it’s not happening fast enough. I want it all right now. Because we never know what tomorrow is going to bring.

But I feel it there, I feel like this year is gonna be my year. It’s right there and I can touch it.

I haven’t done much since returning from New Orleans – I hadn’t realized how much I missed it and I was in a slump when I got back.

New Orleans Skyline

Then there was Christmas and it was wonderful.

I’ve been studying marketing and thinking of different things that I can offer as a boudoir/glamour photographer in the Green Bay area … something to make me stand out and get women interested in having their portrait taken. I’ve got some great ideas.

I was watching one of the entertainment shows and they had interviewed Debbie Reynolds back in the ’90’s, asking how she kept going. I’m paraphrasing here, but she said, “I just got up and kept going. I wanted to lay down and hide and sometimes I did for a day or two, but then I got up and kept going.”

Thanks, MsReynolds

Kinda rambling, I told you, lol.

New Year – OLD Me

Since I can’t show you my first session in the new studio (shhh … it’s a a surprise!) or the NEXT two either :(, I figured I’d show you the studio a different way.

But first, I want you to watch this video by Sue Bryce; as many of you know, Sue is my hero and while I didn’t GET the idea to shoot women from her, she has been my driving force for three years.

Yeah, so I am 55 years old, married over 30 years and two grown children. I am thirty pounds overweight, I’ve smoked since I was twelve and I use to party like a rock star. Sometimes BETTER than a rock star. I have Fibromyalgia, COPD and a plethora of other STUPID health issues that make it difficult for me to get my ass moving in the morning – who the hell ever heard of a rib randomly popping out of your spine?

And LOOK, Zippy, I’m STILL hot, goddammit (that’s an inside joke; those of you who get it, get it, those of you who don’t – sorry)

So that’s what the title of this blog refers to – it may be 2016, but I’m still me.

I did very little afterwork on these images – brightened my eyes, removed blemishes that won’t be there next week and maybe the lightest of making some bits smaller. I just made sure I posed in a way that I looked my best. If I can look this good I can make you look this good, with very little computer help.

Looking at these photos reminds me of who I am. Who I REALLY am and I love me.

Let me make you fall back in love with yourself.

Sleigh Bells Ring … Are You Listening

Lighting Model Beaner, my lighting stand-in

As much as I know it’s necessary, and even though I’ll still be taking photos, it’s breaking my heart to shut down my studio.

As I was setting up for today’s sessions and really feeling the effort, I realized it was for the best, but I was crying anyway … I’ve loved every session I’ve done there. I love how BigD worked so hard to give me the exact space I wanted and even built my “movable” walls, even though he thought I was crazy.

I love those of you who volunteered your time when I needed models and I really love those of you who spent your hard-earned cash and put your beautiful faces in front of my camera, sometimes more than once. Knowing that you have my work hanging on your walls does more for me than you’ll ever know.

Happy Holidays, Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays from SassyBee Glamour Photography

Turns out December has been a very … trying month. I was having some health issues and putting them off because I’m a pussy, but when I was finally dragged kicking and screaming to the doc’s office, some of my fears were put to rest. The news was not as good as I’d hoped for, but better than what I’d been expecting.

I kinda went off the deep end; in the past that would have meant a week long date with Jim Beam, but those days are past me and I’ve just been trying to work my head around what my life is gonna be like from now on. I’m still having a hard time with it and I expect I will continue to have a hard time, but – and ain’t that always how it goes – some good has come out of the crud.

First, I’ve decided to close down the studio – a little less stress in my life is not a bad thing. All future work will be done on location.

Second, I realized that I had a LOT of time on my hands this past few weeks, which led me to decide that I was going to do some REAL holiday decorating for the first time in years. Christmas is a tough time for me anyway and the past three years has sucked a lot more of the joy out of the holiday so I’ve done hardly any decorating at all. It’s been kind of a piss poor tribute to my mother’s favorite holiday and pretty rotten for my family.

I’ve also been doing some long overdue de-hoarding. Laws. I had a lot of junk. I have a lot less now. I wish losing weight was as easy as getting rid of junk.

Third, I’ve decided that I am NOT giving up my goal of spending the rest of my life making other women’s lives just a little but better.

I know I can’t make you love your body or see that you’re beautiful, but I CAN show you what the rest of the world sees and give you a lasting memento that will give your self-esteem a kick in the ass every time you look at it. What starts out as a gift for a loved one (whether it’s boudoir or glamour) will turn into lasting reminder that you really ARE kick-ass hot.

And that I WILL promise you.